My Kind of Nightmare

Hi guys! Assalamualaikum! Here I am at home! Finally, Alhamdulillah, it feels so good to be back here. Out of drama, out of stupid problem. Lit gila weh.   

First off, i wanna tell you guys my story. What had happened to me for the last three days in my college. Personally, I think this is not because of the college itself, but it's due to myself who have tried to dig into it. 

The very first issue is, in the morning of the 3rd last day, my roommate told me about last night. Well, actually i didnt even realise about it. Tapi, bila kawan aku bagitahu, aku dah start rasa lain. Here's the thing, she told me that aku mengigau lama pukul 4 pagi macam tu. Aku cakap, "minta maaf, jangan kacauuu etc". She couldnt hear every words that i said but lebih kurang macam tu. Dia kata lagi, it occured for a quite long time. Honestly, aku tak pernah mengigau waktu tidur, i never had sleepwalking, never ever in my entire life i spoke while sleeping. It is weird like legit! 

So, I tried to recall what happened actually. Oh right then. I just thought that it might be due to a thread on twitter that i've followed since then. I would read his creepy true story every day when he updated. It's like my routine. They're true stories, so i was interested in them. Just to tell you guys, I am so into horror stories, movies or whatever that's related to it. In fact, my entire family are into these kinda movies. We like to watch them in cinema. But you know, when I'm reading the thread, I dont feel anything. I feel normal. But, without realizing it, it affected my sleep. 

At night on the same day, I slept outside of my room. It is kinda a house and there're a few rooms. So yep, at that night, I stayed outside with a roommate. What I did was, just reading on Wattpad while laying down and my roommate was watching a movie. At about 2 am, I heard something. It was like the sound of orang main-main dengan kerusi plastik, like kerusi plastik warna putih tu kan. Yep, bunyi orang seret kerusi banyak kali. Okay.... maybe bilik sebelah tengah study kot sebab my entire roommates dah tidur except for both of us. Then, benda tu continuously bunyi-bunyi and agak kuat. So, i looked at my roommate and asked her, do you hear that. She nodded and continued watching her movie. *sigh* I tak patut tegur. So, I was the last one to sleep at that night cause of the Wattpad stuff! *annoyed* Dalam pukul 3 pagi macam tu, I tried to sleep, but it's kinda hard sebab I kept on imagining things. But, a few minutes lepas tu, I managed to.


On the next day, we all slept outside again, but this time, all of us. We took out the mattress like it was a slumber party ey. I slept early compared to them. Tapi, tiba-tiba aku terjaga dalam pukul 1 macam tu. Aku rasa panas sangat, and i was sweating as heck. Wallahi, i felt uneasy, dengan nyamuknya, panasnya, sumpah tak boleh tidur. I tried so hard to keep my eyes close but it's getting harder. Macam ada benda paksa nak bukak jugak mata tu. Not long after that, aku dengar bunyi gelang loceng. But, samar-samar and rasa macam jauh lah jugak bunyi tu. Aku dah cuak dah sebab dalam thread yang aku baca dekat twitter tu, ada pasal bunyi gelang kaki etc. Bro, :') That's not funny. Lama jugaklah aku try nak tidur. Finally, boleh jugak.


Now, this is the climax of this story. I AM SO WEAK I TELL YOU GUYS. Malam terakhir ni, memang aku tidur last sekali sebab aku tengah study. Yup, semua orang tidur luar malam tu. So, pukul 1, aku stop and aku baring terus, try nak tidur. As usual, the weird insomnia came creeping in. I never had insomnia before. Aku tengok video kat youtube, aku main game as distractions sebab tak boleh tidur. Tapi, aku rasa badan dan mata aku penat, plus esok ada exam Chem. So, i really needed to sleep. My conscience wasnt stable at that time because I started to imagine things. I felt there was something watching me, i dont know from where. But I felt that. Then, aku try nak tidur and pejam mata, still tak boleh. Aku terus selubung dalam selimut sebab I dont wanna see what's happening outside. Aku rasa dalam setengah jam jugak lah. I could feel that my entire body was sweating like LEGIT. My pajamas were all bathed in sweats! Rasanya first time aku berpeluh teruk macam tu and i was shaking.. Disebabkan tak tahan panas, aku keluar dari selimut, but still with eyes closed. I'm not ready to face the truth, honestly. Suddenly, aku dengar lagi bunyi gelang loceng, and this time makin kuat and makin dekat. God, sumpah i felt like crying and rasa nak kejut diaorang tapi aku rasa takut nak bergerak and bukak mata. Not so long after that, aku dengar bunyi pintu bukak tutup kuat sangat and lama jugak. okay, since malam tu it was kinda windy and tingkap memang terbukak, it might be the reason why. But, I tell you all, this kind of thing never hapened to us before. Even bukak tingkap macam mana pun, not even once bunyi dia kuat and lama macam tu. Ayat kursi aku baca, 3 kul pun aku baca. Nasib baik lancar, takdelah lupa-lupa ke apa. Aku bertahan macam tu tanpa tidur sampai pukul 4 pagi. Itu pun sebab one of my roommates bangun tidur. Lepas tu, aku pun bangun sebab memang tak boleh tidur? I did some reading saje-saje dekat meja study. Oh fyi, my study stable was just beside the balcony in which its sliding doors cant be closed. They're stuck and broken actually. So, dengan terbukak nya macam tu, ko rasa khusyuk tak? Of course tak :') Whatever it is, aku try tidur balik pukul 4 lebih. Alhamdulillah, I got to. Tapi, memang tak cukup tidur, and mata aku sakit pagi tu plus ada exam :) Nah but all is well. 

Oh, there's one more thing. Bunyi gelang kaki tu maybe bayangan aku je. Tapi, bila aku cerita dekat semua roommates aku pagi tu, one of them told me, yang dia dah biasa dengar dah bunyi tu malam-malam. So..... I guess it is a yes? (im not having an imagination guys!) :p

So, yeah that's my story. Tapi, bila balik rumah. Tak ada apa-apa lah. Maybe sebab tempat kot? Wallahualam. I think that's all for tonight. I'll update soon!

crush that crush

HI GUYSSSSSSS. Guess what? I just came back from my night class. And this class is one of my fav ones cause i like this subject and my classmates are funny and cool. You would laugh every single moment cause of their bizarre acts haha. 

But the thing is, Im into GREEN today! yeah cause baby your soul could never grow old as evergreen....... You are ed sheeran to my heart HAHA kidding. So, I wore green today and of course, there's someone who donned in green as well. I mean the exact kinda green, the same tone. U ada? I ada haha.  I was like building my own castle in the air. But theres no prince charming????? LOL

OK i think i fell in love again for the infinity time. haha no. I mean, like in this real world. Come on, Ive so many crush in the tv but it's virtual for me please. But now, it's real. But yea, all i could do is stay quiet and do nothing cause it is the way it is. I like it that way. 

lol im just kidding about 'falling in love' one. I dont know my own feeling but you know, when you meet someone, he would cross ur mind multiple times or they would make a wound in your heart or else he would not leave any scar or mark on you so you gotta be prepared for all these possibilities. Make dua' and don;t lose hope hehe. Assalamualaikum and good night!

Homesick???? Yea

Assalamualaikum to all of ya!

It has been two weeks since i started my second sem, and it doesnt feel like home at all. Anybody can feel me?? Well, it is for the first time for me to feel really homesick which is TODAY, this morning. It's quite absurd.

You know why? Because ive never felt homesick in this semester, yet. So, when i felt that this morning, i thought i wanna go home, on the dot. 

What was i thinking? When i woke up, i felt a stranger vibe crept into my mind and it felt like, i missed home. really bad. Have you ever felt that? That feeling when you wake up, you just wanna wake up to your own bedroom. Well i felt that. And then, my mind quickly goes to my mom and I read my whatsapp conversation after that. And then i came across my family's whatsapp group, my mom texted me something about ''haa takde sape nak layan along''. (which is a yes because no one replied me???!!! why hello? this is kak long okay). So, when i read that, lagi la rasa nak menangis!! 

K i know i was being very childish because a small matter. But, honestly i missed my home, my hommies and i missed ipoh. Where i could eat anything, i can go anywhere. Here??? We got only hutan. Thank you.

back ash

Long time no see. I ve been so busy lately and since im on my study week and yet, i hvent revise all of the topics naww so, i guess ill be off till 13th. pray for my final :-)

Found-tension

Hi dude.
I just wanna announce here (I aint anybody but a queen) lol?
I'll be in Gambang Campus for cfs.
I'll be enrolled on 12th June and do u think im excited?
I dont know what to feel. I mean, i will easily get homesick bcs im not used to be away from home. Being in a residential sch for 2 years isnt enough for me to be capable of homesick-stuff. Ipoh-Taiping is just several miles away. But Gambang-Ipoh. It feels like im in Washington. Lmao

Knowing the fact that i'll be the only one from seratas in Gambang, im quite scared tht what if i cant get along with others, what if ill be quiet as heck, what if people dont like me? Those what ifs quest keep popping out in my mind. And im stressed out about them. All of iium-students to be, i mean my sch mates are all in PJ. And me, alone in the other side of the world. Perhaps i cant go home during semester break and not on the weekend. O' Allah, give me strength to overcome these. I might look strong but deep inside, im sitting in the darkness. Lol i think ive been exaggerating too much isnt it?

So, i got Biological Sc and idk what do i have to FEEL. Bcs in degree, ill end up studying biomedic and i dont want that. No, pls dont say, 'wtf sister, u hv to be grateful for this, some people dont get any!'. Yea im not blind, im not deaf. I just want the best for myself and i want to be what i wanna be. So thats my choice and if i get the chance to change course, why not? It's our second chance to be the one who we want to be. Is it a crime? If u want to get it, go and get it. No one is blocking you, u just have  to work hard.

And dont ask me to just carry on with my current course, no. It annoys me and sometimes, maybe you have to be in others' shoes to feel what do we feel. Think of others and dont be selfish. So... i really hope it will turn out well and i can score well and get high cgpa. Ameen~