Jan 10, 2015

done

So im going back to school approximately 7 hours from now. sigh.
You dont have any idea whats going on with me.
I cried.
I screamed.
There were tears on the sheet.
Im not even ready for this.
And im done hopping for the things that arent coming.
Lillahitaala.
I set my mind and my heart that im doing this because of Allah.
I worked this hard just for my parents, my family, who else?


I waited for so long.
But it was just a waste.
They didnt know how tired was i,
how sad was i.
They didnt see the real me.
How i was struggling to get an attention.
They just didnt know that i was counting on them.
I prepared something and it was just a piece of shit now.
I shouldnt have do that at the first place.
But how can I stop for being someone's plan B.
7 hours are just 7 minutes for me though.
sigh.
Im so pathetic.

Jan 6, 2015

any great title?

Hi. It has been a year since ive published the last entry (that lame one in which i was just 15). I skipped 2014 because i spent most of the time in the boarding school. Honestly, i dont know what to write and this is awkward (lol im awkward with myself or it is just somebody out there stalking me naww).


So basically ill be back to school on this sunday, maybe early in the morning because i have to unpack all the stuffs and decorate my locker (enthusiasm for this new year). Well, I hope there wouldnt be awkward moment with the peeps. Seriously i never thought that id reached today. I mean, senior year would totally be a great year for everyone but i dont know what should i do to make this year as a holy great year with its blistering good vibes. 


I wanna grow old but i dont wanna grow old too. So, which is better? Being 1 and a half month at home will never better. I literally unpacked my homework at the last 10 days and im dubious if i could finish it since ive lost some of the papers.. So i guess, this is acceptable.


Have you ever been through some pleasure seeking people? Nah i get used to it. Whether he/she is a wimp or im a boring person or theres no chemistry between us.


So I think id power off my cell and avoid those people who are just taking anyone for granted lol kidding i aint that mad. Just... Im tired of all the dramas and after all those apocalypse (it is to me) happened to me in just a month wow after i lost my only phone, after i lost physics papers, im so done.


And have you ever been forgotten by someone? No it is only me me me me. So I guess id do maths for now till fajr and happy worldless wednesday! To anyone who will read this. Or no one.