May 11, 2018

Pre-Mini Test

Bismillahirahmanirahim.

Hey there. It seems like everyone is not done with GE14 yet. Oh well? So do I. One by one has been exposed. Hashtag spill the tea. 

Anyhow, it's a brand new day, new Malaysia, I really really hope this country is really going towards a better nation. Not only with the manifestos, but of course with the people itself. I can't even describe how proud I am of this recent election. For the first time ever, this kind of thing happens here. Before this, I was not so aware about this political issues and stuffs but anyhow, we all grow up right? Whatever it is, it's surely our responsibility in choosing the best leader of all. So, if you are one of those people who says "hm nah, these politic stuffs are not my thing", then you're the worst kind of people. 

Nevertheless, having different opinions and sides of political parties doesn't have to keep everyone apart. When it comes to work or personal matter, put that aside. Everyone can choose, everyone has their own side but try to not put that in the very first thing in your daily work. 

By the way, I'm in my college while my friends and my family members are currently enjoying their one week holiday at home. Homesick strikes so bad. Anyhow, there's a reason why I came back earlier than everybody else. I got a mini test on this Tuesday and my knowledge is just 30% currently. My level of stupidity and procrastination is just so high, reaching to the infinity. Medical school is one hell of a ride. Lol. Haven't even reached the end of year 1 but the feeling is catastrophic. 

Currently we are studying about bacteria, parasites, virus and so on. Another thing is about drugs, specifically pharmacology. It's too much. The name itself is nonsense. Can't even say it right. I salute them, pharmacy students. 

Reaching to the end, it's good to be alive now, to really witnessing this victory of the people, now they realize and see the power of people. My level of happiness is ridiculously high. Alhamdulillah. I can't wait for the good things to be happened next. Here's to a new Malaysia! 

Apr 29, 2018

Towards the end of April

Bismillahirrahmanirahim.

I always see things without thinking deeply and not in a mature way in which I tend to easily assume things to be happened the way I feel. It's totally wrong. I realize that it shouldn't be that way. Confidence is the key. Over confidence can kill it. No confidence? You'll prolly drown.

I once tell here that I did badly for my first block of examination. And the result was very very bad. That was one hell of a ride. I'd call it a phase of depression (not a clinical one lol). It was just disturbing my mind and my conscience as I was so down, so scared and was having very low self esteem. But as time passed by, I tried to find back my spirit and there you go, a unicorn vibes come creeping in (haha kidding), I don't know how it happened. But, surely I became more confident with my self. I tried to push myself closer to Him and make dua' as frequent as possible, do Hajat prayer when I have time. Because with effort itself, you can't get what you want.

With that, I managed to improve a lot, even though it's not that much, but for me, it's very good enough for me. My mom tells me that if everyone else can do, why couldn't I? I quite disagree with this statement because everyone has their own limit and thinking. Mine is slower. But, that pushes me to put in way more effort so my thinking could be same as theirs. That's the logic behind that.

Anyway, I'm praying for all of us to be able to endure our year 1 successfully and get into year 2 with a good result. Surely we can. :) Assalamualaikum.

Apr 20, 2018

Sarcastic People yay or nay?

Hello everyone!

This time around, I’m updating my blog while I’m at home!!!! It feels real good to be here where there’s no problem and drama and the best thing is spending my time with my fam. That’s good enough wallahi.

One quick question, do you like sarcastic people? For me, there are two types of them. The first one is the one who’s being sarcastic intelligently in a fun way while the one who does sarcasms in a very annoying and cruel way is for the latter. I, myself personally loathe the latter one cause it hurts me every single way and I dont think it shows intelligence right there? It’s like you make fun of people and you tell them in a very subtle but cruel way. It’s not healthy you know. Instead of being sarcastic all the way, why don’t you tell them directly and confront everything.

The way I react to this kinda people is just ‘do your poker face’ and don’t mind them cause they’re just wasting my time. There’s no point on talking and feeling hurt cause that’s the way they are. They’d do it over again unless if they change. For now, dont worry be happy, do good and be patient. Remember that Allah is always and always with the patient ones. Ameen.

Apr 7, 2018

A quick one, really

This is a quick one.

I know that I'm weak, emotionally and physically. I often fall sick, almost have gastritis every day, often overthink, often feel sad (with or without reason) but that's the way I am. Can't get rid of it but slowly and surely, I can endure it.

Anyway, I recently had a quite emotional phase where I had some kind of problem. So yea, I sought help from my little sister cause she was the only one who was free at that moment. Mom was basically busy cause she's working so I didn't want to interrupt her. It's just a simple thing, but the moment that my sister was willing to help me to run the errand by WALKING quite a distance just to get it done. Wallahi, my tears rolled down my cheeks like rivulets. I felt really touched.

Thus that made me realize that I was really weak. (read: still weak). Just a small thing Put, yet you still cried a river. I had 5 tissues wasted on that. The reason behind that: 'terharu'. blugh, I need to learn to be strong.

Addition: I think by having loads of work to be done by this week, adds to the 'emotional me'. Too much guys. I have the list if you want to see:

1) PBL presentation for session 2
2) Dakwah bureau stuffs
3) Microbiology lab report
4) UNGS assignment
5) Leadership stuffs
6) Volunteer stuffs

Yet, I feel annoyed of those who keep asking and asking for the things. It's not yet the deadline, but they seem eagerly want it. Patience is the key to everything. So, sabar. There's this one point where I wanna leave the whatsapp groups for a while cause it's too much. They enter like thousands of bullet. And I'm not bulletproof. *sigh*

Pray for Put so she can handle all of this with sabr and sincerity. Ameen.

Apr 2, 2018

I've Learned Something and..

Assalamualaikum people!

Just a short post for today, where I wanna share something that has touched my heart. Er, I don't know how to exactly explain this but I wanna highlight 'gratefulness' for today's post. Cey, I should do 'one moral value for a day' post lol. Just kidding.

First off, it's just a start for me to be a little bit thrifty because I do admit that I spent quite a lot. As for today, I just had a simple dish for lunch, and decided to just have bread and jam for dinner. BUT for a pelahap like me, 2 slices of bread aren't enough. So, like for my kuliyyah, there is this one welfare bureau that help the needy persons by serving them free food for dinner. Since, the food is a lot, I took a little bit as I was (and am) trying to be thrifty, so, bad. Then I took a plate of rice, a fish and some potatoes. It was kinda far because the food were in the block next to mine. The struggle is real haha. As I was taking the food, I stumbled upon a few of my classmates. I was like "hye bye hye bye" with them until this one person was saying something that maybe unintentionally hurt my feeling. I forgot the way that person said it, but there was this 'sanggup datang sini' words and they sound like I was kind of desperate to come here JUST to have free food. I'm not sure if i am the one who is overthinking but for me, you don't say that to people. I don't care so much about that, but I couldn't imagine if someone else who really needs the food was at my place. It might hurt people.

Basically, I wanna stress that do mind your words. If you don't have anything nice to say, just stay quiet. Keep it low. If that is the way of you, being friendly, well you should change. The way is not right.

The other thing that has touched my heart was about the food itself. The food was okay, but we don't basically enjoy it. Um, how do I say this..... I wasn't saying that the food is terrible, but you know if it's for free then you can't expect it to be a 5 star one. I do realized that. But, when I got it for free just now, the nikmat is wallahi undeniable. It was tempting and, delicious. That's the best thing I've ever felt today. The nikmah that has been givin by Him. Thus I feel so grateful, and I promised I wont be stingy in buying food after this. :) Haha. I won't cut my budget for food just to save some money to buy makeups, to go shopping and to spend for a holiday trip.  things. Lol.

So yeah. Those are just the things. It's basically nothing but it's a lot to me. Deep inside, I've learned something today. With that, I hope we all ca be grateful and mind our words before we spit out anything. Ameen.