Hello guys. I decided to write a post because I'm not feeling good right now. Just a quick update, yesterday my best friend Iman came here surprising me. I just heard some knocks from my window but I was still day dreaming on the bed. Too bad, I didn't lock the window so she just like opened it and shouted at me to freaking open the door haha. Wallahi I felt like it's a dream since I was really in a deep sleep and I thought that it's absurd for her to come see me here. Apparently, she had to drive approximately 3 hours just to get here. So, it's kinda ridiculous that she made her time to see me here.

But hey! I'm in reality dude. She really did come?! I remember that I immediately cried when I hugged her because it's been so long that we haven't met each other and I missed my best friend so much. The other thing that makes me even sad is because I'm here alone without my friends. It's mainly because I have some stuffs to settle down (other people involved aren't in the same block as mine). So, I'm really alone and lonely and I really can't do anything because all I did was cry and cry. I can't say that this is an anxiety attack because I don't know. But what I feel is outrageous and sometimes it's really hard to breathe because I feel very empty and I got no one to talk about it here. So, someone's presence could make me so happy and I can breathe easily finally. Even if it's just for one day, it brought a lot of changes in my progress. I mean, it's really hard to tell. So yesterday, I didn't feel lonely and scared to sleep at night. I'm not scared of the people or the ghosts, but I'm scared of my own thoughts that it feels so empty, it's like I'm soulless. So today, she went back home, and again I'm drowning in loneliness again. I just feel so sad that I miss home, I miss my family and I miss my friends.

That was the moment where I knew that I was very weak, mentally and emotionally. But Alhamdulillah somehow along the way, He sent me good people to accompany me for awhile and distract me from darkness.

Just a post

Assalamualaikum. I just dont feel good today, like I'm having a breakdown and I am mentally and emotionally unstable. If you never feel it, you just cannot understand this situation. So hard to explain.. but what can I say, it's like you're done with everything.

I am having some problems and it's too private that I cant tell about it here. But the thing is I'm feeling so lonely now as I'm alone in the college. I feel empty so much. I cried all day all night thinking about home and family. I'm so so family-person so it's just so hard to be alone like this. I'm just very sad that I can't tell my family about it. It's embarrassing and I'm not the one who really tells all her stories to her mum. Till then