Aug 8, 2017

Random 101

I had a mental breakdown when i was reading the breakup scene in To All the Boys Ive Loved Before. I swear, it hit me right in my heart cause i can feel it well. It seems like Im that girl, and losing the guy that i love is painful. lol Who's that guy? Peter Kavinsky he is. Finally, I have read all the series and I will do my very own book review soon ;)

So, yea. writing about the book is mainly about how do i feel, my sorrow, my agony, my jealousy and all when they break up. lmao, my heart felt like it has been stabbed with tons of needles when i read it. Have you ever felt that? Or is it just me who are too much enjoying her reading? Haha. My mom once mocked me for over reacting by just reading novels. I guess that's my real passion. 

So, what exactly did i feel is, i feel the pain and sorrow in the girl. Well, the thing is she's the one who wanted to break up but of course, it's because she's in disappointment! The thing that makes me so down is because the guy, Peter is such a genuine, humble and perfect guy. Thus i feel like that's her worst decision ever. Like hell i am so used to know someone like this. The fact that she went through all the weeks without talking to the guy, even though they're classmates in their high school, but still, nope, I can relate that to myself. No, never been in a relationship before but i do felt how is it like to distance yourself from someone special. 

Some may say that why are you exaggerating? lol I got no answer for that. It's our natural response. Metaphorically, it is involuntary action. (not a fact though). Haha. So yea 

It takes two to tango. But i just have one. So, I need to call it a day. 

I've just read a thread on Twitter about a girl, she found her way back to her first love after 6 years of breaking up! Wow! That's a miracle. Jodoh it is. It doesnt matter even if you dont expect at all to be with someone, the fate will take you to the path. I'm so impressed by her story because it is so spontaneous. She told there that she cannot forget him since then, she almost gave up but suddenly, a rainbow came after the dark storm. It's beautifully written isnt it? You just cannot lose hope. Pray to Him. (Same in my case lol). The right one is still fresh in my mind but losing contact for 2 years already. I might not know my future, but hoping isnt a sin right. 

Phew. Whatever it is, I will start my degree in September soon. More happy years to come, more challenges to face, more loves to earn! 

May 17, 2017

My Kind of Nightmare

Hi guys! Assalamualaikum! Here I am at home! Finally, Alhamdulillah, it feels so good to be back here. Out of drama, out of stupid problem. Lit gila weh.   

First off, i wanna tell you guys my story. What had happened to me for the last three days in my college. Personally, I think this is not because of the college itself, but it's due to myself who have tried to dig into it. 

The very first issue is, in the morning of the 3rd last day, my roommate told me about last night. Well, actually i didnt even realise about it. Tapi, bila kawan aku bagitahu, aku dah start rasa lain. Here's the thing, she told me that aku mengigau lama pukul 4 pagi macam tu. Aku cakap, "minta maaf, jangan kacauuu etc". She couldnt hear every words that i said but lebih kurang macam tu. Dia kata lagi, it occured for a quite long time. Honestly, aku tak pernah mengigau waktu tidur, i never had sleepwalking, never ever in my entire life i spoke while sleeping. It is weird like legit! 

So, I tried to recall what happened actually. Oh right then. I just thought that it might be due to a thread on twitter that i've followed since then. I would read his creepy true story every day when he updated. It's like my routine. They're true stories, so i was interested in them. Just to tell you guys, I am so into horror stories, movies or whatever that's related to it. In fact, my entire family are into these kinda movies. We like to watch them in cinema. But you know, when I'm reading the thread, I dont feel anything. I feel normal. But, without realizing it, it affected my sleep. 

At night on the same day, I slept outside of my room. It is kinda a house and there're a few rooms. So yep, at that night, I stayed outside with a roommate. What I did was, just reading on Wattpad while laying down and my roommate was watching a movie. At about 2 am, I heard something. It was like the sound of orang main-main dengan kerusi plastik, like kerusi plastik warna putih tu kan. Yep, bunyi orang seret kerusi banyak kali. Okay.... maybe bilik sebelah tengah study kot sebab my entire roommates dah tidur except for both of us. Then, benda tu continuously bunyi-bunyi and agak kuat. So, i looked at my roommate and asked her, do you hear that. She nodded and continued watching her movie. *sigh* I tak patut tegur. So, I was the last one to sleep at that night cause of the Wattpad stuff! *annoyed* Dalam pukul 3 pagi macam tu, I tried to sleep, but it's kinda hard sebab I kept on imagining things. But, a few minutes lepas tu, I managed to.


On the next day, we all slept outside again, but this time, all of us. We took out the mattress like it was a slumber party ey. I slept early compared to them. Tapi, tiba-tiba aku terjaga dalam pukul 1 macam tu. Aku rasa panas sangat, and i was sweating as heck. Wallahi, i felt uneasy, dengan nyamuknya, panasnya, sumpah tak boleh tidur. I tried so hard to keep my eyes close but it's getting harder. Macam ada benda paksa nak bukak jugak mata tu. Not long after that, aku dengar bunyi gelang loceng. But, samar-samar and rasa macam jauh lah jugak bunyi tu. Aku dah cuak dah sebab dalam thread yang aku baca dekat twitter tu, ada pasal bunyi gelang kaki etc. Bro, :') That's not funny. Lama jugaklah aku try nak tidur. Finally, boleh jugak.


Now, this is the climax of this story. I AM SO WEAK I TELL YOU GUYS. Malam terakhir ni, memang aku tidur last sekali sebab aku tengah study. Yup, semua orang tidur luar malam tu. So, pukul 1, aku stop and aku baring terus, try nak tidur. As usual, the weird insomnia came creeping in. I never had insomnia before. Aku tengok video kat youtube, aku main game as distractions sebab tak boleh tidur. Tapi, aku rasa badan dan mata aku penat, plus esok ada exam Chem. So, i really needed to sleep. My conscience wasnt stable at that time because I started to imagine things. I felt there was something watching me, i dont know from where. But I felt that. Then, aku try nak tidur and pejam mata, still tak boleh. Aku terus selubung dalam selimut sebab I dont wanna see what's happening outside. Aku rasa dalam setengah jam jugak lah. I could feel that my entire body was sweating like LEGIT. My pajamas were all bathed in sweats! Rasanya first time aku berpeluh teruk macam tu and i was shaking.. Disebabkan tak tahan panas, aku keluar dari selimut, but still with eyes closed. I'm not ready to face the truth, honestly. Suddenly, aku dengar lagi bunyi gelang loceng, and this time makin kuat and makin dekat. God, sumpah i felt like crying and rasa nak kejut diaorang tapi aku rasa takut nak bergerak and bukak mata. Not so long after that, aku dengar bunyi pintu bukak tutup kuat sangat and lama jugak. okay, since malam tu it was kinda windy and tingkap memang terbukak, it might be the reason why. But, I tell you all, this kind of thing never hapened to us before. Even bukak tingkap macam mana pun, not even once bunyi dia kuat and lama macam tu. Ayat kursi aku baca, 3 kul pun aku baca. Nasib baik lancar, takdelah lupa-lupa ke apa. Aku bertahan macam tu tanpa tidur sampai pukul 4 pagi. Itu pun sebab one of my roommates bangun tidur. Lepas tu, aku pun bangun sebab memang tak boleh tidur? I did some reading saje-saje dekat meja study. Oh fyi, my study stable was just beside the balcony in which its sliding doors cant be closed. They're stuck and broken actually. So, dengan terbukak nya macam tu, ko rasa khusyuk tak? Of course tak :') Whatever it is, aku try tidur balik pukul 4 lebih. Alhamdulillah, I got to. Tapi, memang tak cukup tidur, and mata aku sakit pagi tu plus ada exam :) Nah but all is well. 

Oh, there's one more thing. Bunyi gelang kaki tu maybe bayangan aku je. Tapi, bila aku cerita dekat semua roommates aku pagi tu, one of them told me, yang dia dah biasa dengar dah bunyi tu malam-malam. So..... I guess it is a yes? (im not having an imagination guys!) :p

So, yeah that's my story. Tapi, bila balik rumah. Tak ada apa-apa lah. Maybe sebab tempat kot? Wallahualam. I think that's all for tonight. I'll update soon!


Feb 23, 2017

crush that crush

HI GUYSSSSSSS. Guess what? I just came back from my night class. And this class is one of my fav ones cause i like this subject and my classmates are funny and cool. You would laugh every single moment cause of their bizarre acts haha. 

But the thing is, Im into GREEN today! yeah cause baby your soul could never grow old as evergreen....... You are ed sheeran to my heart HAHA kidding. So, I wore green today and of course, there's someone who donned in green as well. I mean the exact kinda green, the same tone. U ada? I ada haha.  I was like building my own castle in the air. But theres no prince charming????? LOL

OK i think i fell in love again for the infinity time. haha no. I mean, like in this real world. Come on, Ive so many crush in the tv but it's virtual for me please. But now, it's real. But yea, all i could do is stay quiet and do nothing cause it is the way it is. I like it that way. 

lol im just kidding about 'falling in love' one. I dont know my own feeling but you know, when you meet someone, he would cross ur mind multiple times or they would make a wound in your heart or else he would not leave any scar or mark on you so you gotta be prepared for all these possibilities. Make dua' and don;t lose hope hehe. Assalamualaikum and good night!