May 23, 2016

Found-tension

Hi dude.
I just wanna announce here (I aint anybody but a queen) lol?
I'll be in Gambang Campus for cfs.
I'll be enrolled on 12th June and do u think im excited?
I dont know what to feel. I mean, i will easily get homesick bcs im not used to be away from home. Being in a residential sch for 2 years isnt enough for me to be capable of homesick-stuff. Ipoh-Taiping is just several miles away. But Gambang-Ipoh. It feels like im in Washington. Lmao

Knowing the fact that i'll be the only one from seratas in Gambang, im quite scared tht what if i cant get along with others, what if ill be quiet as heck, what if people dont like me? Those what ifs quest keep popping out in my mind. And im stressed out about them. All of iium-students to be, i mean my sch mates are all in PJ. And me, alone in the other side of the world. Perhaps i cant go home during semester break and not on the weekend. O' Allah, give me strength to overcome these. I might look strong but deep inside, im sitting in the darkness. Lol i think ive been exaggerating too much isnt it?

So, i got Biological Sc and idk what do i have to FEEL. Bcs in degree, ill end up studying biomedic and i dont want that. No, pls dont say, 'wtf sister, u hv to be grateful for this, some people dont get any!'. Yea im not blind, im not deaf. I just want the best for myself and i want to be what i wanna be. So thats my choice and if i get the chance to change course, why not? It's our second chance to be the one who we want to be. Is it a crime? If u want to get it, go and get it. No one is blocking you, u just have  to work hard.

And dont ask me to just carry on with my current course, no. It annoys me and sometimes, maybe you have to be in others' shoes to feel what do we feel. Think of others and dont be selfish. So... i really hope it will turn out well and i can score well and get high cgpa. Ameen~