Nov 19, 2016

Homesick???? Yea

Assalamualaikum to all of ya!

It has been two weeks since i started my second sem, and it doesnt feel like home at all. Anybody can feel me?? Well, it is for the first time for me to feel really homesick which is TODAY, this morning. It's quite absurd.

You know why? Because ive never felt homesick in this semester, yet. So, when i felt that this morning, i thought i wanna go home, on the dot. 

What was i thinking? When i woke up, i felt a stranger vibe crept into my mind and it felt like, i missed home. really bad. Have you ever felt that? That feeling when you wake up, you just wanna wake up to your own bedroom. Well i felt that. And then, my mind quickly goes to my mom and I read my whatsapp conversation after that. And then i came across my family's whatsapp group, my mom texted me something about ''haa takde sape nak layan along''. (which is a yes because no one replied me???!!! why hello? this is kak long okay). So, when i read that, lagi la rasa nak menangis!! 

K i know i was being very childish because a small matter. But, honestly i missed my home, my hommies and i missed ipoh. Where i could eat anything, i can go anywhere. Here??? We got only hutan. Thank you.

Oct 4, 2016

back ash

Long time no see. I ve been so busy lately and since im on my study week and yet, i hvent revise all of the topics naww so, i guess ill be off till 13th. pray for my final :-)

May 23, 2016

Found-tension

Hi dude.
I just wanna announce here (I aint anybody but a queen) lol?
I'll be in Gambang Campus for cfs.
I'll be enrolled on 12th June and do u think im excited?
I dont know what to feel. I mean, i will easily get homesick bcs im not used to be away from home. Being in a residential sch for 2 years isnt enough for me to be capable of homesick-stuff. Ipoh-Taiping is just several miles away. But Gambang-Ipoh. It feels like im in Washington. Lmao

Knowing the fact that i'll be the only one from seratas in Gambang, im quite scared tht what if i cant get along with others, what if ill be quiet as heck, what if people dont like me? Those what ifs quest keep popping out in my mind. And im stressed out about them. All of iium-students to be, i mean my sch mates are all in PJ. And me, alone in the other side of the world. Perhaps i cant go home during semester break and not on the weekend. O' Allah, give me strength to overcome these. I might look strong but deep inside, im sitting in the darkness. Lol i think ive been exaggerating too much isnt it?

So, i got Biological Sc and idk what do i have to FEEL. Bcs in degree, ill end up studying biomedic and i dont want that. No, pls dont say, 'wtf sister, u hv to be grateful for this, some people dont get any!'. Yea im not blind, im not deaf. I just want the best for myself and i want to be what i wanna be. So thats my choice and if i get the chance to change course, why not? It's our second chance to be the one who we want to be. Is it a crime? If u want to get it, go and get it. No one is blocking you, u just have  to work hard.

And dont ask me to just carry on with my current course, no. It annoys me and sometimes, maybe you have to be in others' shoes to feel what do we feel. Think of others and dont be selfish. So... i really hope it will turn out well and i can score well and get high cgpa. Ameen~

Mar 18, 2016

SPM Candidate?

Oh God, the temperature tonight is no joke. I'm sweating like heck plus i wear all black tonight because i think i look cool in black. No, not hipster but i feel rock! 


Well okay~ Actually, i wanted to give some of my spm preparation. Lol, it isnt all about preparation, but it's actually about my routine. What did i do and all of those maybe can burst out your positive vibes and the mood to start it from now. Because what can i see from my sister, who's an spm candidate for this year, she doesnt ever give a damn about it. I could only see her study during the last minute and she stayed up all night until fajr to study, and during test, she would be like a zombie plus her short term memory didnt help at all. 


So, as a residential school student, i was really lucky to stay in such a place and perhaps some will think that we were like prisoners, no gadgets at all. No, youre totally wrong. 

Here's mine:

#1 Gadgets?

It is normal to own one but, you must control your play time. As for me, cellphone is my biggest enemy since i will stalk people on Instagram, post tweets that arent important at all, chatting with not-so-important people. Thats from my point of view. Im so grateful bcs in residential school, normally there will be spotcheck for every month maybe? So, we just brought a cheap one, very cheap one. And i can just call my mom, and text her prolly every 3 days lol. I was having homesick so bad but i didnt call my mom everyday and i was happy with my friends around. So, for me, i saw some of my friends brought smart phones and no offense, but their grades were not so ______. Believe me, cellphones are the worst enemy of all. I saw my friends were chatting, on the phone every night, and i dont know what did they do with their cellphones, just because of that, they didnt bother to even take out a book, and read. well, last minute people will end up like last minute result. Im not judging people, but i have a smartphone too. I only used it at home during holidays and not other than that. Come on, it's just for a few months. You dont have to be a geek just to score straight a's.


#2 Timing

Ugh i reallyyyyy hate this part because every damn day, i felt like i had not enough time to study, to sleep (i love to sleep). So, what have i learnt from my experience in residential school was:

4.30 am: Wake up and take a shower (damn cold lol). If possible, do perform tahajjud.

5.10 am: Read books. As for me, it's a perfect time to read Biology and History. I never do addmaths early in the morning. In the morning, u'll easily get some facts and inputs bcs your mind is fresh after taking a shower.

5.45 am: I got ready in a complete school uniform and go to the mosque to perform subuh. In my school, we usually perform 2 rakaah of sunah prayers. 

6.15 am: I took my breakfast and go to the class and do my homework, or else, i'll read.

7.30 - 
2.45 pm: I have classes as usual

2.45 pm: I perform zuhr and have my lunch.

3.30 pm: Back for extra class.

5.00 pm: Asar at the mosque and i went back to my dorm and washed clothes and did some works because i had to be all independent :(

6.00 pm: I would be in bed and take a nap, and do addmaths or physics or chemistry, and  then take nap back, and study back, and sleep. I dont know. Thats my routine because i was too tired. You dont have to be stressful, just enjoy your leisure time. Prolly, you can sleep until maghrib.

6.50 pm: Dinner and maghrib

8.00 pm: I had prep and at that time i'll do revision and sometimes i'd do homework. But i hate homework because i loved to procrastinate so i just left it and did my revision especially for chemistry and physics. 

10.00 pm: Back and you can do whatever you want. But, I  usually went to my friends' dorms and talk and eat snacks and mingle with people around. You see, no cellphone at all. I just used it only for calls and texts and musics. No anti-social. Normally, I'd sleep at 11.30 because i love sleeping so i didnt want to waste it by doing stupid things. Even with the lights on or off, i dont care. But i prefer no lights at all. I hate lights.


So listen. I dont get it why certain people are so lazy to do revision, to read, i mean reading is my passion, i really really love it. why not? It's just an excuse if you insist that you dont have enough time. well bullshits. You have 3 and 1/2 hours for your cellphone yet, youre still complaining about homework. Why? because you do it last minute. 

#3 Exam?

Ikr. It's the most stressful week for me and ofc for everyone. But the best thing is, you dont hv homework yeay. I usually stay up until 12.30 and go to sleep because, i cant put in so much facts in the peak hour. I feel that it's a waste to just let go your sleeping time, seeing my friends, who sleep early. Sleeping is heaven. So, when some of your friends ask for your help for certain subjects, what do you feel when you're tired? I feel annoyed. NOoo. I can help you, but not in the exam week. nope. You can ask me to teach you the whole book if you want to, but please not in the exam week. Ive my weakness side to be brushed up too! ugh, i hate this kind of people. They just find us whenever they feel uncomfortable about the upcoming test, but they dont even think about mine? Gosh, I really want to help but find me 2 weeks before exam week starts. I cant sleep early because of that i cant do revision on the topics that i am week at. Im not being a snobbish, but i want to do revision too right? So... just ask your friends to teach you anytime before the exam week. Dont make them to feel annoyed about you, being that way. Why do they find us at the very last minute? Because they dont even start it before it. Just dont procrastinate to revise your weak subjects. 


#4 Revision

Normally, I'd revise two weeks before the exam week especially for chemistry, biology and history. lol for maths, a night before is just enough because all you need to do is exercises. Trust me, it will work on you. The same old questions will pop out and you dont have to be worried about that. 

So, i think this is not helping too much, but the thing is, you have to control yourself. NO PHONES, NO LAPTOP, NO OVER ENTERTAINMENT, NO TV, NO OVERSLEEP, NO PROCRASTINATION. YOU CAN GET GOOD GRADES IF YOURE WILLING TO LEAVE ALL THOSE TEMPORARY HAPPINESS :) bye.

p/s: im not good in giving tips, i just state what ive been doing all this time, feel free to practice it ^^

Mar 9, 2016

I am Blessed Enough

Alhamdulillah. First off, i feel so blessed on these few days. The fact that i went through a hectic year so far, the most hectic year of all. 


So, today I want to share about my great day and of course Im not being full of myself, I just want to share this happiness, like yea if you're happy about something, is it a crime just to share and expose about it? No right. 


So on the night before my result day, i was having a really tough night. I couldnt sleep and it felt so hot like dude, i need a bed of ice right now. I kept thinking about what reaction that i have to make, if i get good result, if i get a normal one or what if i get straight a's? Those imagination kept getting in my mind and tell me what to do. Can I just sleep and endure whatever that is coming? Hella no. I was nervous as heck. So, I could only start sleeping at 2. And after fajr, I slept back because it was too creepy to wait for the sunrise, to realise that the fact that it was the day. lol me.


So, I did not eat on that morning, felt like didnt want to. My whole morning was like 'i wanna puke, i wanna puke, i wanna puke'. God, that feeling is much way scarier than coming for an interview. So, we went out a little bit late because mom wanted us to take selfies. Yea you know mom, she LOVES to take selfies. And of course, I follow her steps. Well during that 1-hour-journey, I checked my twitter timeline and instagram, so some of friends posted their nervous-looking-face and some posted photos of the main hall, juniors and all i wanted to do was puke. I really really wanted to and I almost asked mom to stop at the highway, but I thought positively and okay I needed to eat something real quick. And I ate half of the RM 0.85 Gardenia chocolate bread and plain water. That mini heart attack was mom wanted to stop for a while at the nearby RnR right after I called Syikin and i was told about the statistic of straight a's students in Malaysia decreased and yea, I saw a little change in mom's face but it is acceptable right?! Because those damn papers were really tough.


I know she was just joking, so she pretended that she was okay, but I know, nope. She was really hoping that i'd be one of the straight a's students. Damnization, mom please, i aint perfect. Sooooooooooo, when we got there, I seated separately from mom bcause she took the closest seat from the stage. ARE U KIDDING ME NOO. I WONT SEAT THERE. So, I took a seat beside my best friends, Syikin and Syafira with Syikin's family and her adorable little sister and brothers. THEY WERE SO DAMN CUTE AND I ALMOST FORGOT THE MAIN POINT OF MY VISIT ACTUALLY. lol


The announcement was too slow and I cant resist the beating of my hearbeats, and I held their hands and mine were sweaty as heck. Maybe I was kinda excited, so i sent an sms first to know my result but, i didnt check it. Stupid right? I wasted 40 cent for that but no. I wanted to see my slip first. Well, at first I expected that I'd only get 7 or 6 a's because I know what was I doing for the past 3 months. For my school, there were 22 students who got straight a's and one student who got straight a+ and obviously I knew who was that one genius person. So, after a few names were announced by the teacher, I was quite surprised because some of them are so not in my expectation at all. And at that moment, i just realised that damn it is a miracle, Im witnessing a miracle. wow. I gave a big genuine applause for them because i was so so happy. And I wanted to text mom actually at that moment that please just dont expect anything high from me. Most of my classmates were there, up on the stage. Couldnt feel more proud to be theirs. 


And after 17 students have been announced, I was really nervous___ and there, my name was announced on the 18th one. I stood up a little bit late because owmygod, is this real?! I saw my mom in front there, and i walked really fast because it was awkward to walk in the middle of everyone lol I kissed her hand and hug her and aw, that was one of my beautiful moment in my entire life. My hard work finally paid off. My patience, my tears, all of those were moments to remember. And, I finally witnessed my own miracle. :)

Knowing the fact that maybe it was the last time i could meet my friends, it was kinda heartbreaking moment ever. I was really happy to see my friends thanked me for teaching them all this while even though I know I didnt teach them a lot, but I felt appreciated and you know, it was great to be able to help them. Oh god, Ill always remember those nights when we slept at 2, and walk around aspuri to memorize history and made calls to someone, and had 2 big cups of nescaffe. lol you can hardly have friends like them. They were the best people in my life.


I met my juniors too, and they still remembered me yeay . The teachers as well. But, i didnt see Sir Mano because he wasnt there. For me, he is the best teacher and he gave me no G for addmaths throughout my 2 years there. He'd asked me in EVERY class and im one of those lucky stars to do addmaths on the whiteboard, but thanks for that, it really worked on me. :) 


But the best of all was, my mom. She is the best of me. All i wanted to share is with my mom. Couldnt thank her more for coming every 2 weeks, for giving money, for buying lots of food, for loving me and the most important one is, for trusting me that i can do it. 


Heres to a new beginning





So these are some of my close juniors 



These two are my close friends and ofc my beloved deskmates and classmates.


Right there are my beautiful batchmates 


These one are my best annoying friends ever. and excuse my retarded face.



Here's my pretty mom, with pretty good heart 



And lastly, this is 5 Suria, where you can find those genius, pretties, the funny ones, the bizarre ones but we had fun through out the hectic year.